Enduring Grief and Loss

Loss is a difficult event that impacts every person at some point in their life.

Regardless of how accustomed to loss we may be, every loss can affect us differently, further complicating how difficult the grieving process can be to navigate.

Here are a few gentle reminders about how to endure grief and loss:

• Remember that grief and loss can have a wide-ranging effect. Grief is not reserved only for people close to the deceased, rather, grief can occur across communities and reach people with no personal relationship with the deceased at all. Indeed, many variables, including your relationship with the deceased, their characteristics (such as job, hobbies, residence, etc), and the circumstances of their death, all play a role. Generally, close relationships with unexpected and tragic death can create difficulty in accepting and tolerating the loss.

• Remember that grieving is an individualized process and that the way you think, feel, or react is both normal and okay. This means that the way you grieve may look and feel very different than the way a coworker or family member grieves, and everyone’s reactions are acceptable.

• In a similar vein, remember that there is no “right” way to grieve. Despite what the movies show, not everyone will cry, spend time in bed, or use substances to manage pain.

• Remember that there is no timeline for grief—however long it takes you to process grief is how long it takes. Grief is said to “come in waves” and these waves may roll in for days, weeks, months, or years.

• Remember that healthy coping will be beneficial in the short and long term. Grief is heavy and can create a void-like feeling. Do your best to cope with connection and support, communication and self-expression, and nurturing yourself by not neglecting your basic needs, including rest. While numbing, avoiding, and distracting can feel better at the moment, these actions do not allow the loss to be processed and can generate longer-term problems.

Loss is a difficult experience for all and losing someone you care about can take time to recover. If you need support during this process, reach out to us at The Ridge.

-Dr. Jena Casas, Ph.D.